I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
