Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
