we have officially lost it.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
