my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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