How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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