I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ttyl tear gas
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You dont lie about slip and slides
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize