I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
