he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
