You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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