She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish you could order shots online.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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