Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
