That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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