Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
