I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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