so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
