4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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