as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
