Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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