Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
