i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
