I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
