Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
