Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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