Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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