): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
