I think i peed on brittanys purse
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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