Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my sisters under your porch take her home
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
