dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The air was thick with penises
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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