I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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