Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
