my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
