he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
