Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
