I think I won the penis lottery.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
even my farts smell like vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
