Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
