erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize