He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
