She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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