i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
