Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Holy shit dude........stairs
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