He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
