Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
