Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
