I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize