I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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