Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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