considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
