Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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