i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I could make wine with my vomit
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
