I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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