absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize