I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
