they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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