The maid of honor just puked.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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