I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
