I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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