i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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