Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
