How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
