Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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