2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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