well you can't waste a boner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize