One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
