i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
