he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
