i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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