best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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