Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
