i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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