He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
