don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
