Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Less talking, more tequila
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
