U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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