and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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