i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
