i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
