He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
