I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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