I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she looked like the before picture.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize